wanderlust

he is the kind of boy who makes me want to believe in god because
i can think of no other explanation for the effect he has on people except that
god loves him,
and maybe god doesn't love the rest of us because
he is the kind of boy who makes us forget how good loneliness can be.

most days i just want to write songs and sleep.
it would be nice if i could have him too, but
we are wanderers,
eternally and ephemerally lost in passing.
so i hope that he finds someday
someone
somewhere
who loves Them enough not to let it go
when he asks so kindly.
(whereas i will consent to cut Us.)

it would be nice if i could write to him about him for him, but
we do what wanderers do: forget. move,
closer or farther i'm not sure.
still, oscillating in time is not so bad if you can try and see things from where i stand,
wherever that
might be.

it would be nice if he maybe wrote something to me about me for me
because even though i'd die young,
a taste of immortality before that might not be so bad.
life is kind sometimes.

someday i'll take him to see the stars, to a place where we will feel
safe
and content for a moment.
i'll say,
i told you so, i told you so.
the stars are right there, all we ever wanted is right
here.
and when I look at him,
under his skin, in his eyes,
i'll find something brighter than the unblemished night sky,
because once in a while I need to slake my thirst, and
wandering is thirsty business.

i'll let him go and after that day i don't think i'll ever be so close to heaven, but
all we need…

you need time?
you need
time?
will heal your wounds.